May 2010 highltght: Should You Kiss A Woman You've Just Met?
(Great Tips in 'answer' part at bottom)
***QUESTION***
SUBJECT: A BIG BREAKTHROUGH
Dear David,
I have been reading your book and trying your
ideas for a while now with limited
success.
However the other week I decided to try your cocky
and funny attitude in a nightclub setting and get
over
my fear of approaching beautiful women.
Here is what happened... I spoke to 35 girls in a
four hour period. Got 2 phone
numbers and lots of
physical contact like hand holding, hugs etc. My
approach was basically like this... A girl bumped
into
me and say "Sorry" I replied. "C'mon I know
what you are doing. You just want to seduce me and
take me home. . . But
listen, I am not THAT easy.
I hate it when girls just want me for my sexy body
and incredible looks (I am an average
looking
bloke) I mean I have feelings . . . and a brain.
What happened to just talking a bit and being
friends...
By then the girl is really cracking up
and playing along. Like she said, "Oh, it must be
a real problem being as good
looking as you how do
you cope?" I said things like "So tell me, What
does it feel like to be talking to such a good
looking
sexy and intelligent guy like me?" OR
Have you ever talked to such a good looking sexy,
intelligent... and modest guy
like me before?"
"You are not going to start stalking me now, are
you?"
Another approach I used with waitresses was...
"Excuse me, but how do you do
that?" (She ALWAYS
says, "Do what?") Walk so straight. You just
glide through the room with this great energy.
Are
you a dancer or something?... Then I went into
my cocky and funny... Hey, you are not intimidated
to have such a good
looking and sexy guy like me
talking to you, are you? (I got her number)
I would ask them where they were from, and when
they told me I would ask . .
. "So what are you
doing here, did you get lost?" I would shake
their hands when I introduced myself and then
say...
"Wow, you have an interesting handshake.
You know you can tell a lot about how a person
first meets someone by the way
they shake
hands..." (They almost always say, "So what can
you tell about me?")
Anyway, since that time I have lost my fear of
meeting women in any situation.
I comment on
their clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, an item they
carry etc. Then get into the good looking sexy
routine.
Also when I am in shops, checkout lines
etc. And I get asked how are you? I now say,
"You mean apart from being incredibly
attractive
and irresistibly sexy?... I am really great!!"
This always gets a reaction. If it is a bit
reserved I
follow up with "You are not intimidated
by having such a good looking guy come into your
store, are you?"
Or if they ask "Would you like a bag" (Like in a
grocery store) I say "You mean
to put over my
head because I am so good looking and to stop all
the girls from attacking me when I walk out? Good
idea."
Then after her response I say, "You are
not going to start following me when I leave here
are you? You are not a stalker
are you?" If she
is a bit freaked out. I say "You look a bit
intimidated by what I said. Haven't you ever had
such
a good looking guy through your checkout
before?"
So now I am meeting, women and getting phone
numbers EVERYWHERE I go. But more
than that I
make people feel great after I leave. And have
them saying things like "You made my day" "I was
feeling
down until you came" Etc. etc. etc. This
is soooo much fun.
Thank you David, I look forward to coming to your
next seminar.
P.
P.S. Question: I know some of the girls really
like me. But I seem to miss the
chance to close.
(Kiss and/or number and e-mail.) At least 10
times now while I am talking to the girl, a friend
comes
and drags her away. What's the way to
overcome this. I REALLY want to kiss, close and
get the number. I know I keep
missing the moment.
How do I know when the moment is there? (My
feeling is I am just go wussy and get scared when
I
get to that stage and I just have to have a go
and just DO IT!!!)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great examples... killer stories.
In response to this great letter, I'm going to
focus this, integrating several
of the different
"pieces of the puzzle" together.
One of the most important things to remember as
you hear the different ideas
that I present is
that THEY'RE ALL PART OF A BIGGER PICTURE.
All of the ideas work together.
They strengthen and magnify each other.
And they are explained the way they are for
specific reasons.
Let me give you a couple of examples.
Why do I teach the concept of being "Cocky and
Funny?"
Because it's the absolute best way I've been
able to find for a regular guy
to communicate in a
way that makes an attractive woman feel a
gut-level ATTRACTION.
Attraction is complex to explain. It would
appear to be a simple concept.
But it's not.
If you want to be able to create it, you have
to understand things that most
guys don't get.
Cocky & Funny communicates:
1) That you're an "alpha" type male. Even though
you're making jokes and being
funny, you're
talking in a way that only confident men talk.
This is attractive.
2) Humor requires intelligence and creativity. And
when you use humor with a
little bit of cockiness,
it comes across as "superiority." Also attractive.
3) It says "I get it" in a very subtle way.
Attractive women are approached
all the time by
men... in one way or another. When you're acting
cocky and funny, it's a very DETACHED kind of
attitude.
An attractive woman who is used to being
approached all the time and worshipped finds the
attitude VERY interesting
and refreshing.
4) It's UNBELIEVABLY easy and low-risk. It beats
the hell out of fighting to
show off that you're a
dominant male.
And on and on...
The point is, there are about a hundred great
reasons to use the attitude.
But the point is that I RECOMMEND
IT FOR A
REASON (a lot of reasons, in fact).
Bottom line: IT WORKS. Use it.
Next, let's talk about getting email addresses
and phone numbers.
Why do I recommend getting email instead of
numbers?
Because it's a lot easier, women aren't so
resistant to it, women respond to
it better... and
you're about twice as likely to hear back when you
email as when you call.
Again, there are all kinds of reasons for it.
How about the idea of getting her email address
within a few minutes of meeting
her instead of
going for "kiss closes" and trying to take women
home the night you meet them?
Why do I suggest that?
Wouldn't it make more sense to get her more
interested in you on the spot? And
strike up an
interesting conversation to prove what a great guy
you are?
Well, sure.
If you're the mac daddy of all time, then it's
a great idea.
But if you're a regular guy, it's probably not
a good idea at all.
See, if I go out on a Friday night with some
friends, and we go to a couple
of bars... there
are a few interesting dynamics that are probably
going on.
1) Women who are out are usually with friends.
Friends don't like to have their
friend taken away
from them so you can mack on her.
2) Unless you are a "pro", the chances that you're
going to make a better impression
by talking
longer in a bar or other busy public setting are
slim. There are a lot of distractions... and a lot
of
other guys around who want your gal's attention
(competition wastes time).
3) If there are a lot of other guys around, she
will have better looking, smoother-talking
men to
compare you to. In my experience (unless you're
Brad Pitt's brother) there is ALWAYS a more
attractive guy
in a busy bar. It's only human
nature to have this work against you.
4) If you talk to one woman all night, you may or
may not wind up dating her
later. In my
experience, due to the reasons above, your chances
get worse the longer you talk. MUCH BETTER to get
an
email address (AND number) from a woman in a
few minutes, then move on and get another... and
another. I know a lot
of guys who go out and get
3-5 emails and numbers a night (some get a lot
more). Then you have a bunch of prospects
to
follow up with during the week.
5) The chances are that the women you're talking
to are NOT the kind of women
you're going to want
to see again. YOU READ THAT RIGHT. Just like most
guys are not what an attractive woman is looking
for,
most women aren't what you're looking for
either. She's probably either a bad match to your
personality, has different
values than you, is
annoying in some way, or whatever. I'd say that
maybe one in three women would even warrant a
second
date on average. Remember this before you
invest too much time talking when you could be
getting more emails and numbers!
The REAL point I'm trying to make is that the
"Three Minute Email/Phone Number"
technique isn't
just a cute trick or a gimmick.
There's a reason why I use it personally and
why I teach it and mention it so
often.
It took me a looooong time to figure out all of
the reasons that I've listed.
And there are many
more. But the point is that the technique and
mindset behind it work and will get you more
success
than others.
Sooooo...
To answer your question of what you should do
because all of these women have
friends who pull
them away before you can "kiss, close and get the
number"...
GET HER EMAIL ADDRESS BEFORE HER FRIEND EVEN
KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON!
Then go get another one. And another.
Then, meet each of them for a 20-minute cup of
tea during the week and decide
if you like one or
more of them enough to spend some time later
together. What a much better mindset.
I have a friend who has slept with over 1,000
women... and when he goes out
to meet women, he's
not looking for a woman to take home that night.
He's looking to get numbers.
Now, we're talking about a guy who likes to
date a LOT of women here! (I realize
you may not
want 1,000 women, but the idea still rings
true)...
His words (paraphrased by me): "You have to run
it like a business. Go out on
the weekend and get
20 numbers, then call them all on Monday and set
up your dates for the week..."
This idea works just as well if you're looking
to find one special girl as it
does if you're
looking to find one special girl every night.
So...
1) Remember that all of the pieces work together.
2) Think about doing what makes the MOST SENSE
rather than trying to be Mr.
Mack Daddy and get
"kiss closes" from every woman you meet.
(When this article is replaced in June, It will be on the 'Stuff' page, under the
link "Sucess Stories")
